The darkness was upon her. She could feel the familiar heaviness creeping into her chest. Her mind becoming foggy as the weight of self doubt descended upon her. It happened in an instant. Triggered by a simple comment from a friend.
Tumbling headlong into the darkness she was oblivious to the rest of the conversation. Her mind down the rabbit hole of negativity in a flash. She felt helpless to stop it.
The tears begin to flow. She reaches up and begins to tap gently on the side of her hand, the top of her head, the points on her face, while honoring what she is feeling.
“Even though I am feeling so heavy, I deeply and completely love, honor and accept myself and my feelings.”
“Even though I feel so low…”
“Even though I’m beating myself up…”
“Even though I don’t think I am good enough…”
“I choose to accept that’s how I feel right now and I choose to love and accept myself anyway.”
The fog begins the lift. It’s easier to identify the truth of what is happening…
“All this judgement”. “All this judgement of myself”. “All this making myself wrong”.
And then, a flash of light. A moment of clarity. A redeeming thought. “I don’t have to believe this. I can CHANGE this. I CAN stop this. I have a CHOICE. I am NOT a helpless victim. I have the POWER within me. I choose to remember who I AM – strong, talented, capable. I CHOOSE to love and BELIEVE in myself.”
The heaviness in her chest starts to lighten.
She begins to feel gratitude… for this tool of tapping… for the ability to help herself make a shift… for making the choice to do it differently… for remembering to use the tool… for the level of awareness… for being able catch herself before she was too far down the road of self abuse and sabotage.
The sun starts to shine through and her mood lightens. It’s going to be ok.
If you have ever struggled with depression, self doubt, negative self talk, anxiety, not feeling good enough, feeling less than, or disadvantaged in any way, I want to remind you that it IS possible to change these patterns.
If you are one of the very fortunate few who have always had a healthy sense of self worth and self esteem and have never berated yourself, Bless you. Thank you for existing to provide an example of, and point of reference for, what that looks like.
As you stretch yourself, step out of your comfort zone and go for your goals this year, you may have emotionally taxing times. Times of deep despair and uncertainty. Times where you question the circumstances of your life and all that you believed to be true, about yourself and others. These are what we refer to as a “dark night of the soul”.
I have navigated many of my own “dark night of the soul” experiences. I have also helped many of my clients navigate through their own. I share some of what I’ve learned along the way in the hope this perspective will allow you to move through these periods with grace and receive the gifts the contained within them.
Remembering these nuggets will allow you to emerge lighter, brighter, wiser and more powerful than before:
During these stressful times you might find yourself vulnerable to falling back into old patterns of self doubt and negativity, even reverting briefly to old ways of being that no longer serve you. It’s tempting to believe that you are “back at square one”, that you haven’t changed, overcome or moved on. These experiences are simply a test in the school of life. Much like a test in high school or college, designed to show you which skills you have mastered and which you have to hone further.
A temporary set back can be just that – temporary. You get to decide. It’s only permanent if you don’t ‘get back on the horse’.
Every experience is here to serve you in some way. You may need some help to see how.
Challenges always represent an opportunity – usually for coming into your brightest, most actualized, self.
The faster you acknowledge and accept it (surrender), the faster you move through it
It’s easier not to get stuck in it if you have help and tools to support you.
There are many tools and processes that you can use to help yourself through it.
Changing your mindset (thoughts and beliefs) is the most effective way to change your life experiences. You bring peace on earth by first bringing peace within. You change the world by changing our world. As you change your mindset you have less and less negative experiences. (When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change).
Run your own race. Don’t compare yourself to others. Be inspired by their accomplishments as an example of what is possible, then do it in your way and at your pace.
Here’s to a Magnificent 2016!