July 2011, Dallas Texas. I’m walking aimlessly around the exhibit hall at the Ewomen Conference in tears, feeling confused and dejected…like a complete failure.
I had been working with a mentor since February that year, part of a high level business coaching program, in an effort to get my coaching business off the ground. I had never invested in myself on that level before. I had never had a business coach before.
It had been 5 months and I was more confused than ever. I kept getting stuck and not taking action and implementing the things she was teaching me.
At times I was fully in my victim mode – blaming my mentor: “She doesn’t “get me! She should be able to help me!” After all, she’s the expert and that’s what I’m paying her for right?!
Other times I would “compare and despair”: The others in the program seemed to be able to be doing what they needed to do.
So then I blamed myself: “It must be me. I’m just not getting it.”
After all, She is successful, so – by logical reasoning – if I just follow her “formula”, doing what she did, I should be able to create the same results!
It was an expensive but profound life lesson. It was the beginning of my awakening to the fact that business is just another path of soul growth (as are relationships, health and money).
In hindsight, I realize that the lessons I learned as a result of this experience had to come that way because, at the time, my conditioning made it acceptable to invest $18,000 in learning how to make more money, but not in my personal growth (which is unfortunately still the case for so many of us.)
Today, I have built a 6 figure business which supports me financially, emotionally and spiritually. I have been through many other programs and have learned a lot of lessons along the way! Here are a few:
Clarity is key! You can’t effectively apply the marketing strategies if you don’t have clarity on what you are selling and who you are selling it to (your message). Take the time to get clear for yourself on what you want and why as well as defining what success looks like FOR YOU.
(This is one of the things I often do with clients in a VIP intensive)
If you are in a service based business, you are selling YOU. SO if you have any issues with self worth, self confidence, self esteem. The extent to which you are able to face them and overcome them will determine how successfully you will be able to self yourself.
Who you are BEING in your business is as crucial to your success as knowing what strategies to implement. It takes courage, confidence, tenacity, consistency, integrity, and consistent self care to grow a successful, sustainable business.
You’ll only ever grow your business as big as you grow yourself. (Why? See #3). Doing the “inner work” of uncovering and releasing blame, shame and self doubt are key to stepping into your power, accessing your full potential and being successful.
You can’t do it alone. I see time and again, we get stuck at a certain point because we don’t have enough help or support. This seems to be more common with women than men for two reasons: we are socialized to be the nurturers and caregivers and don’t learn to receive very well and we are taught to be smart and independent and needing help can make us feel dependent and weak.
Clarity is something you live into. You need to have a clear vision of where you want to get to. The path to getting there is rarely ever a straight one. You have to take a step and then the next step becomes clear based on where you are now.
Fear never goes away. You learn to manage it and work through it. It comes up again every time you up-level and take a step into unfamiliar territory.
We all have blind spots – things we don’t see – and if you cant see it (to decide if its working for us or not) you cant change it. Others can usually see it for us. That’s why we need help.
Business is about making money so if you’re in business, your money “stuff” will inevitably come up. You will have to work through them at some point. Monica Shah’s Money 2.0 event in April 16 -18 in Atlanta is all about doing this work (I have a few complimentary tickets. Click here to claim yours!)
If you don’t get good at sales, you wont make as much money as you could. If you have issues with asking for and receiving money, you won’t be good at sales! (see lessons 3 & 4 and seriously, consider attending Money 2.0)
No one can tell you WHO you are but some people are skilled at helping to SEE who you are. Especially when it comes to identifying your unique gifts and skills. They are often hardest for you to see as they are so innate, so easy for you, you often don’t see the value of them to others (because you think it’s easy for everyone).
What are some of the lessons you’ve learned on your journey so far?
I love if you’d share some in the comment section below.
I believe you wrote this blog on my behalf….lol. Feeling like a failure to say the least. I am figuring out how to afford the help I want in order to make that quantum move forward.
Thanks so very much for sharing.
You’re most welcome Ingrid! Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment and letting me know. The human experience is quite a journey isn’t it? 🙂