You have to let go of where you have been so you can embrace where you are going. It’s an opportunity for a quantum leap. A jump vs making small, sequential steps.
Honing your ability to trust your intuition – your inner GPS – is essential.
On Sunday I made the choice to accompany my husband and some friends on a photography field trip to the Skyline Ridge at Shenandoah National Park in Virginia. I had some reservations about spending my whole day out because the weekend before I had been away and I had things to do around the house. I also had some things to take care of for my business.
However, I had just had a talk with him the week before about making time to spend together, and, I am clear my family relationships are a top priority, so I decided to go. It was also a great opportunity to explore a new place and take my mother sight seeing.
My husband said it was about a 2 hour drive to the park. We left home around 8:20 am to meet up with our friends and drive behind them.
For the first part of the journey, I was relaxed. We listened to music, sang along, chatted and took in the beautiful countryside scenery.
After about 3 1/2 hours, I began to get restless and question my husband:
Me: “Where exactly are we going? Didn’t you say it was going to take 2 hours to get there?”
Husband: “That’s what my friend (who we were following) said.”
Me: “Why don’t you call him and ask what’s going on? It’s been 3 1/2 hrs!”
Husband: “Why can’t you just relax Helen? You don’t know how to just have fun!”
Ok! I was agitated before. Now I’m boiling mad!
I start to tap (EFT or “Tapping” is one of the techniques that is brilliant at releasing emotional energy and bringing the nervous system into balance. Vital to productive decision making and communication. Very helpful for not committing murder and saving marriages. Lol!)
I feel trapped in the car. All my “spidey senses” are telling me something is wrong and my husband is acusing me of not being able to relax and ‘go with the flow’.
Meanwhile, my mother is leaning forward from the back seat, telling me to calm down, open my window and let the wind blow in my face. Really?!!!
I am now completely ‘triggered’! This is an old pattern from my childhood rearing its head.
As an empath growing up in a house where things were ‘swept under the rug’ and communication was negligable, I often felt angry and confused. I was seeing behind the masks of the adults around me and when confronted, they would deny it all. They would look at me like I was the one who was craaaaazy. I learned to question my feelings and not trust my intuition.
As we drove along, I tapped on all this. I opened to finding the gift in the situation because, I truly believe, everything serves.
After about 10 mins of tapping, I calmly asked my husband to call his friend in the car in front and get an update on exactly where we are going and how much more time it will take to get there. I told him I needed that in order to feel calm and safe.
On that call, his friend admitted something had gone wrong with his GPS but they had discovered it a few minutes before (probably around the time my inner GPS was telling me we were off track) and they had reset it and we’re back on track now. “We should be there in 25 minutes.”
Finally, we get to the park and start ascending the Skyline Ridge. Breathtaking scenery. Overlooks for stopping and taking it in are every mile or so, but we are still following our friends car… and he is not stopping.
After another 30 mins my insides begin to churn again. I notice we have ascended the mountain and are now descending again. What?!!! (I’m now squirming in my seat)
Me: “Are we not going to stop and take this in? Where are we going exactly? We have driven 4 1/2 hrs and now that we are here, are we not going to stop and enjoy it?”
My Husband (looking annoyed) calls his friend. They report they are looking for the welcome center as they need a bathroom and someone in their car is hungry.
After passing a few more breathtaking overlooks. I ask my Husband to stop the car. “Let’s stretch our legs, look at the map and figure out exactly where we are in relation to where we are wanting to go.”
At which point we discover we have entered the park at the southern entrance and are looking for the welcome center which is at the northern entrance. Had we not stopped to check we would have driven through the whole park without stopping to enjoy any of it!
(Needless to say, we decided to get on our own agenda and took the lead after that.)
We got home at 9:00 pm and I had a shower and went straight to bed. I was exhausted. I knew a lot had happened and I needed to process and integrate.
The next morning in my dialogue with my higher self this wisdom came through:
…”However you are showing up is perfect. Part of the Divine experiment/experience. Inherent in the desire for an experience is the adventure of not knowing the outcome!
That’s why we say. Relax! Enjoy. HAVE your experiences.
Let’s look at your experience yesterday…
You made the choice to go. You already felt it was going to be a whole day experience. You experienced the guilt of leaving chores undone, not getting college applications done with your son, not making connections about the Jamaica retreat, not spending the day relaxing in bed watching movies, chatting with your best friend.
You didn’t trust that you would have a relaxing day at home.
So you locked yourself in a car for approx. 10 hours with your husband and Mom. You sang, you ate, you talked, you tapped. You felt anger, rage, joy, peace, connection. You made choices to speak up, shut down (not for very long), set boundaries and honor your intuition. Then when you got home you honored your body and went to bed early. You kept your energy within.
What an interesting day. What a full day.
Be unapologetic about your choices. It is futile to second guess yourself. Have the experience you’ve created, then let that experience inform your next choice. This is how you can stay in flow.
It is vital to build in time for integration and awareness.
It’s the same in yoga. You do a pose. Then you feel the effects of the pose. If you move too quickly to the next experience without allowing time for reflection and integration, you miss the opportunity to build on the experience by allowing it to it inform your next choice…” (end)
And THAT my friends is the whole point of being in the void. It is a time of reflection and integration. Be patient with the process and TRUST.